Sean pointed out the entrance where we were to meet Matt, and I was lucky enough to find a parking space right in front of it. “What was all that you and Matt were saying about this door, Sean? Sounds like there's some deep, dark secret associated with it.”
“Nothin' deep or dark, especially. We just got in some trouble here as boys.”
“Doing what?”
“You really wanna know?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Well.” Sean paused beneath a big old maple and patted its trunk. “This tree has seen a lot. 'Twas here that Matt and I tried our first cigarettes, and were caught by Sister Ignatius Cecilia. We used to call her Sister Iggy behind her back. She'd have killed us if she knew. As it was, we got the old brass ruler over the knuckles for smokin', and she sent word home to our parents. Thank God me Da was gone by then, or I'd likely not be here to tell you about it. Another time, Matt had got hold of an old Playboy, and we were lookin' at the goods. I swear, Sister Iggy had radar! We got the ruler, both of us, and letters went home again. We figured we'd get even with her after that, so we climbed up the tree with water balloons one afternoon and waited for her.”
“Shame on you! Did you get her?”
“No. Matt went a little too far out on a limb to find the best vantage point, see? And the branch broke, and he fell.”
I looked up. The lowest branches were at least six feet from the ground. “Did he hurt himself?”
“Yeah, he sure did. By the time I'd shimmied down to have a look, he was screamin'. I ran inside for help, and who did I find but Sister Iggy? I was so frantic I couldn't even get the words out to tell her what happened, just yanked on her sleeve and told her Matt was hurt and needed help. She was amazin' -- gave him first aid, calmed him down, and everythin'. She even went to the hospital with us.”
“I'm surprised she let you come along.”
“Well, it's not like she had much of a choice in the matter. Just like everyone else, she knew Matt was my best friend, and no way was I gonna leave him when he was hurt and scared.”
“Did Sister Iggy ever find out what Matt was doing up in the tree?”
“Oh, yeah. We both 'fessed up in the hospital, after Matt had been x-rayed, and we were just waitin' for his mom to show up and sign some papers, so he could be treated. I don't know if he ever would've told anyone exactly how he got hurt, but I was pretty shook up by the whole experience. Iggy had left us alone to go call Matt's mom, and Matt was lookin' pretty pathetic lyin' there on the gurney with his arm in a sling. I told him I thought he ought to confess to Iggy, and apologize. We argued about that for a bit, until I pointed out that she had been a damn good sport about everything. 'You were gonna bean her with water balloons, man, and you're a fool if you think she doesn't know it. She could've just left you lyin' there to wait for the paramedics, but no. She took care of you,' I told him. 'You owe her.' Well, he came around to my way of thinkin', and Sister Iggy, gracious lady that she was, forgave us and said Matt's broken arm was punishment enough, so long as we never pulled a stunt like that again. We kept our promise, and she became Matt's mentor after that. If not for Sister Iggy, I wonder if he ever would've become a priest?”
“We'll never know the answer to that, now will we, boyo?” came Matt's gentle voice.
“No, I guess not.”
“We all thought you were the one who was on the fast track to the priesthood, Sean, including Iggy.”
“I entertained a notion of it here and there, but realized pretty quickly it wasn't what I really wanted.”
“What about what God wanted?” Matt asked.
“I don't think it was what God wanted of me, either, else it wouldn't have been so easy for me to step back and walk away from those notions.”
“Better me than you, I guess. Will you both come inside?”
Sean stood aside and gestured to me. “After you, á stor.”
I stepped into the darkened vestibule, dipped my fingers into the Holy Water, and blessed myself.
“Where to?” Sean asked.
“I've got us set up on the high altar. I hope that's all right with you.”
“If it's all right with you, how can I object?”
“How like you, not questioning the actions of a priest, even though that same priest narrowly escaped becoming a juvenile delinquent!”
“No matter how narrow the escape, you did escape.”
“Yes, by the grace of God and the persistence of Sister Iggy. Have you both written your vows?”
“Yes, Father -- I mean, Matt.”
“And you, Sean?”
“Written and committed to memory.”
“Show-off!” Matt teased.
“Not at all. I don't wanna be starin' at some stupid piece of paper when I could be lookin' into my lady's eyes.”
“Still a hopeless romantic aren't you?”
“I am, and furthermore, I'm not the least bit ashamed of it.”
“Good for you, boyo! Now, if you don't mind waiting here, I'll just be a minute.”
He left us standing before the altar table, and I studied the items laid upon it: a lighted candle, a bowl of Holy Water, another bowl containing thick, sweet, smoking incense, a small silver knife, and a narrow, folded strip of white linen. I ventured a glance at Sean. His gaze was fixed on the knife, and he looked troubled.
Matt emerged from the side door and approached us, wearing a black soutane and a white stole. He stopped at the table, smiling at us fondly. “Since this is just between us and God, we can be a little informal. I'll just guide you along through the service. It isn't at all complicated. Just relax and go with the flow, and everthing will be fine.”
Sean nodded, and drew me closer.
Matt smiled again, then began in solemn tones. “Sean and Mary, do you come to be joined together before God?”
Sean and I looked into each other's eyes, not sure what the appropriate response should be.
“If you do, just say so,” Matt prompted.
At that, we both answered, “We do.”
“Unity is balance,” Matt continued, “and balance is Unity. Hear, then, and understand. Would you both kneel, please?”
I knelt first, and then Sean got down, too, a bit clumsily, and planted the cane before him, so he could lean on it for support.
Matt laid a hand on each of our heads. “Repeat after me, please, in unison. This is a union of love-- ”
“This is a union of love-- ”
“ --and we recognize the Light of Christ in each of us.”
“ --and we recognize the light of Christ in each of us.”
“Now, speak your vows before God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Sean?”
Sean's eyes sparkled in the flickering candlelight as he gazed at me, every desire of his heart written plainly on his face.
“Mary, I hereby pledge before God, Father, Son and Holy Ghost, to love and honor you all the days of my life; to see and revere the Light of Christ which shines through you and blesses me; to pay homage to the temple of your Divine Spirit; to be your friend, your helpmate, your husband: all these things in every way, when it is possible, and when it seems impossible; to be willing, ready, and able to lay down my very life for you, if that should be required of me. All that I was, all that I am, and all I will ever be I give to you, as well as my love, as boundless and enduring as Eternity itself. This is my solemn vow.”
His eloquence moved me to tears, and at first I could not respond.
“Whenever you're ready, Mary,” Matt said.
I nodded, and took a few moments to compose myself. At last, I raised my head and began speaking from my heart, without stopping to consider the paper I held in my hand, on which I had written stale-sounding vows just a few hours before. I felt surprisingly strong as I watched the flicker in Sean's eyes turn to ardent flame.
“Sean, on this night I place myself, body, heart, and soul, in your hands, and declare my trust in you, and also in God, for it is God who brought you back to me. I will love and honor you always, no matter what our lot in this life. I will be your friend, your helpmate, your wife, and, if God sees fit to bless us so, the mother of your children. All this, without end, and this is my solemn vow.”
“Will both of you please rise?”
I stood up and held my hand out to Sean, but he refused it, and got to his feet with the help of his cane.
“Do you have rings?” Matt asked.
“Oh, shite. I knew I'd forget something,” Sean grumbled.
“It's not a matter of great consequence,” Matt assured us. “We can skip that part.”
“No, wait,” I said, and stripped my engagement ring from my finger. “You can bless this one.”
“But you have no ring for Sean?”
I shook my head.
“We never talked about it, Matt, but it doesn't matter. I'm not inclined to wear a ring, anyway. Go on, we'll do as Mary suggested.”
“Very well.” Matt took my ring and dipped it into the bowl of Holy Water. “Blessed be this ring as a symbol of everlasting love in the eyes of God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.” He handed it to Sean. “Now, take Mary's left hand and repeat after me, Sean. With this ring- ”
“With this ring- ”
“I pledge my intent to wed thee-- ”
“I pledge my intent to wed thee-- ”
“In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”
“In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.”
Sean slid the ring down to the base of my finger, and we smiled at one another.
Matt smiled too, then cleared his throat and spoke again. “Sean and Mary, may your union continue to be a union of great love and beauty.” He picked up the small silver knife that lay on the table and dipped its blade in the Holy Water. “But in spite of such love, Mary, you will hurt Sean, and that cannot be avoided. Can you accept that?”
“Yes.”
Matt set the knife in my hand. “Show me.”
I stared at it dumbly as Matt took Sean's right hand and held it out to me, the palm facing up.
“You don't have to cut him deeply, Mary, just lightly, symbolically, but enough to draw blood.”
Cut him? I doubted I could do it, and my hand wavered.
“Here, Mary,” Matt said, guiding the tip of the knife to the center of Sean's palm.
Sean flinched as it pricked him.
“Do I have to?”
“Yeah, you do,” Sean answered, sounding tense. “Please. Get it over with, will you?”
So directed, I held my breath and bore down lightly, drawing the cold metal across his palm. Sean's face paled as he watched the blood well up, but he stood his ground. I handed the knife back to Matt, and he dipped it into the Holy Water a second time.
“Sean, in spite of the love you bear for Mary, you will hurt her, and that cannot be avoided. Can you accept that?”
“Yes.”
Matt passed the knife to Sean. “Show me.”
He looked into my eyes for a moment. “Sorry,” he whispered, and drew the blade across the palm of my left hand.
It stung, and I gasped as blood flooded the cut.
“As you have done,” Matt intoned, “may you never do again, but if you should, may God grant you the wisdom to seek each other's forgiveness, and heal each other's wounds.”
He then took hold of our bleeding hands and brought them together. Sean's clasped mine firmly, and together we raised them before Matt.
Matt made the Sign of the Cross over the folded strip of white linen, then picked it up, and with it bound our hands and wrists together tightly. Then he cupped his own hands around our bound ones. “Before God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, I pronouce that by blood and scared vows, ye are now handfast. What God hath joined together, let no man or woman put asunder. And the blessing of God, Father, Son, and Holy Ghost, be upon you now and always. Amen.”
“Amen,” we echoed, solemnly.
Matt unbound our hands, then folded the cloth and gave it to me. “Go in peace.”
“Thanks be to God,” we responded.
“You may kiss now, if you like.”
At that, Sean leaned down close and pressed his lips to mine, then lifted me in his arms, his hands gripping me hard.
I couldn't understand what on earth he was saying to me as his tongue chased after mine.
After a discreet interval, Matt cleared his throat. “Um -- I believe I said you could kiss, not consummate your relations.”
Sean chuckled and backed off, and set me down on my feet. He kept a hold on my hand, though, and continued speaking.
I still couldn't understand what he was saying. He was not speaking English, but rather, some lovely, lyrical, ancient-sounding language, and, listening, I felt quite bewitched. “Oh,” I sighed, and reached up to touch his face.
Somehow, it didn't matter that I had no translation. The look in his eyes said everything. He was repeating his vows in this language -- Gaelic? -- and deepening their meaning and intensity.
“Hey, Sean, c'mon,” Matt said, sounding uneasy.
That broke the spell, and Sean snapped back into the moment. “Sorry, Matt.”
“It's all right, Sean. It's just -- well, that was getting a little intense, man. You didn't even look like yourself.”
Sean's eyebrows lifted in surprise. “How so?”
“I don't know. It was just -- odd. I thought I knew you just about as well as anyone could, but-- ” He shivered.
“Matt, I-- ” Sean rested his hand on his friend's shoulder. “Jaysus. You're really rattled.”
“Yeah. Hey, I'm sorry. It's probably nothin'. I'm just tired. It's been a long day.”
“That it has,” Sean agreed. “Mary and I should be goin'. We leave for Maine in the morning.”
“Have a wonderful trip.”
“We will, espcially now. Thank you for this, Matt. I'm well aware that it falls a little beyond the pale, and I hope there won't be any trouble over it.”
“There won't be, so long as I make sure everything's put away. I'll take care of it. You two get on home, and have a grand old time for yourselves.”
I went up to Matt and put my arms around him. “Thank you so much.”
He embraced me in return. “You're quite welcome.” He brought his mouth down beside my ear. “Take care of him, will ye? Somethin' -- and I can't put my finger on it --somethin' worries me. Please -- take care of him!”
“I will, Matt, I promise.”
He released me and faced us with a big smile. “Go, now!”
Sean nodded, then stepped forward and laid his hands on Matt's shoulders, drew him close, and kissed him roughly, first on one cheek, then the other. “I love you, man.”
Matt clasped Sean in his arms, but did not return his kisses. “I love you, too, man,” he responded, his voice husky with emotion.
Sean allowed Matt to hold him awhile longer, then gently disentangled himself. “I thank ye again, anam cara.”
“Just be happy, Sean. That's the best thanks you can give me.”
Sean nodded, then we bid Matt a final good night, and went out to the car.
