boneyard 12:51am Jun 26, 1998 - (427)
I have returned from the northern lands triumphantly thanks to the help of my comrades. With the fair Lady Spye by my side, how could I loseth, eheth? And with the help of the beautiful and busty Lady Perilous, me thinks momentum hast been gained for the Dark side. Whilst Lady P and Lady H were busy making merry with those scalliwags, and Sir X distracting the sweet Lady Chocolate, I managed to cross the border unscathed. I cannot say the same for the cake. It became hard as a rocketh so I used it as an anchor in my journey down the River Niagara. There I met one of those feared men with hockey sticks and agreed to sell thy cake as a hockey pucketh. With the dubloonies I attained from the sale, I purchased many pounds of Canadian fudge which I will share with mine true allies. As for merry-making? Everyone knows that while pirates can party for days, Vampyres party for eternity!!! So, my dear backstabbing Lady Pandikat, this is for ye: neeneth, neeneth, neeneth :p
delacroix_1 6:34am Jun 26, 1998 - (428) "Be mysterious."
Greetings, fair Lady Chocolate. I welcometh thee though thou hast interrupted our lusty merrymaking with much mead, Grand Marnier, rock and rolleth and disarray of bodices. I appreciate thy kind words regarding my attire but, alas, I am irrevocably sold to the cause of Evil and the Canadian fudge our most daring leader hath smuggled across the border. I have even forgiven Lady Spye for her fuchsia leather. Haven't I already forgotten all about her low-rise purple bell bottoms? Besides, anyone who promiseth eternal party hath definitely my vote! (Those lusty and foul-mouthed Knight Templars don't happen to be around anymore, by chance?)
horrormeister 8:56am Jun 26, 1998 - (429)
"Forget the Booklady. She's dead. Long live Lady Horror!"
My allegiance wavereth not in the face of eternal partying. Fair Lady Chocolate, I am but a fair cook. Perhaps I could bake us a new cake and we shall eat that one. I know a devilishly good recipe for Devil's Food Cake. It is made with chocolate, filled with chocolate and frosted with chocolate. I would hope that you could find this cake to your liking.
Pandikat 10:25am Jun 26, 1998 - (430)
"The Turtle couldn't help us."
Ladieth, ladieth. Aren't we forgetting the most important thing? Revenge! Lady Chocolate's cake is gone, now feeding fishes, Lady Spye hast turned to the Dark Side and Lady Charnique hast been poisoned. Not to mention how mine own name hast been repeatedly slandered. It is time to take our pound of flesh!
As for the minions of the Evil Vampyre, may I mention only this? The Blood Sucker may be able to party for eternity, but ye cannot - unless you are all turnethed into undead abominations. In which case, we shall have to hunt ye down for moral reasons if nothing else. Keep that in mind, demon harlots!
the.real.spye 11:04am Jun 26, 1998 - (431 of 734 messages)
"Let's do the time warp again."
Lady Perilous - Thou speakest truly from the heart - all followers of the diet most fowl shouldst be impaled upon thy mighty sword Godiva!
As for you dear Lady Horror - I wilst have thou know that these mitts are lined with mink and will indeed be kept to myself for la nina shalt not last forever! Now if only I could get that chocolate stain off of there...
Lady Chocolate - What Lady Perilous said about those knights - keep us posted, eh? Now, let's speaketh about fashion statements shall we? A little parrot poop is hardly noticeable on that t-shirt, what with the sequins and all. And dear, black lace leggings are definately out this year. And what can I say about your choice of footwear? I would never have taken you for the rippled-soled Earth shoe type (some of you younger folks may not know about Earth shoes - just trust me, it was an insult). ;)
Oh most feared yet venerated Vampyre - pass me a piece of that chocolate walnut will thoust?
Lady Pandikat - If we keep eating like this, I'm sure we will each have several pounds of flesh we would gladly be willing to give you! Now, as for that demon harlot crack, what can I say? He's got the brains (chosing chocolate cake over ricecakes), he's got the money (dubloonies), and he's got the looks (if a little on the pale side). At least we're sticking with one guy...
Pandikat 11:14am Jun 26, 1998 - (432)
"The Turtle couldn't help us."
Lady Spye, I take issue with your smug comments on earth shoes. I'll have thou know that a pair are on mine feet and I find them most comfortable. Times have changed, Lady, for we are no longer in the Dark Ages of Bad Footwear Fashions.
As far as sticking with one "man"...yawn. If one is all you can handle, dear Lady, what else can I say? It takes a whole ship of rough, muscled, buff sailors to take off MY edge. ;) I gues all of those notes on the Inn walls must be true!
the.real.spye 11:21am Jun 26, 1998 - (433)
"Let's do the time warp again."
'Tis true, Lady Pandikat, in the case of the master Vampyre, one is all I can handle. mmmmm - my toes curl just thinking about it. ;)=
BTW - they haven't made Earth shoes in 25 years. How'd you get a pair ya saucy wench?
Pandikat 11:47am Jun 26, 1998 - (434)
"The Turtle couldn't help us."
Lady Spye - Don't you watcheth the tele? Having relations with vampyres rarely ends good. I say this only because, while we may fight for different causes, I do worry for your safety. Then again, it could be jealousy! ;)
I know not of footwear trends, only that on the bottom of mine shoes it says Earth Shoes. I have two pair!
Saucy wench, eh? Would that be chocolate-saucy?
chocolady3 8:17am Jun 27, 1998 - (435)
"Has a tendency to daydream..."
Touche O Fair Pandikat - thou hast indeed smote the Lady Spye on the buttocks ( Not a hard target to miss, mind you) with your rapier wit on the earth shoes. I'll have you know Lady S that I only wear earth shoes during the day so as to prepare my dainty tottsies for when I don my alluring red stilettos to dance the tango. Some of us liketh to take care of our curvaceous bods. As for the leggings remark. Well at least moi can still wear leggings, not like some vamp wannabe I know.
Ah So the Vampyre returneth spewing false tales again about my delectable cake. Using my cake as an anchor tis a grave insult indeed and the hockey puck thing is hardly original. Ye fudge the facts O Master of Deception. Such affrontery to think we noble Chocolatiers would believe such vile untruths. We know you ateth the cake Buster. Fess up or the taste of revenge will be sweeter than any dubious offerings of sweets to be shared.
Lady Horror: Thou hast a domestic side? Who knew? Coulda knocked me over with a parrot feather. Indeed make haste for your recipe sounds truly delicious. Might I make a suggestion? I hear Lady Perilous has lovely chocolate treats from a recent trip to the land of the Franks. Rumour has it that she's hogging them all for herself. A few on the top of the cake would be delightful indeed. You distract her whilst I check out her saddle bags. Of course I refer to the ones on her noble steed. Oh and lest ye forget no white chocolate (blech) please on the cake. Such fakery tis an insult to the tastebuds of a true Chocolatier.
chocolady3 8:55pm Jun 27, 1998 - (436)
"Has a tendency to daydream..."
Harken Ye Ladies and Vamps. Gather round whilst I divulge the details on the Knights Templar. Such a madcap group and talketh about bodacious bi-ceps! They do indeed put the Lords of Chippendale to shame. Their leader, Lord Hugo deBosse is a hotty extrordinaire. He saw through my disguise at the ale-house immediately and swiftly engaged me with his witty charms. Lord Hugo whispered enticements of a highland fling in my ear but I remain true to the Quest for the Cake. He hast assured me that he and his Knights will be near the Gypsy Queen's forest home and may indeed meet with us sooneth.
Alas and Alack. I must confess that whilst the charms of the Knight do tempt me sorely, it is my sweet rememberences of my Once Knight In Shining Armour that I do pine for. Whilst I can not share with my Sisters Chocolate, any of the juicy tid-bits, let me assure you our brief meeting in the bower on the dawn of the duel did taketh my breath away. Of course I am foresworn not to tell the tale and I wouldn't dreameth of breaking my oath. Sigh. Wild horses couldn't drag it out of me. A turn on the stocks in the village square, a month on the rack - no wayst shall I divulge. Tempt me not sweet Maidens. Torture shall not drag the secret of my heart's desire from my lips even.... but if anyone hast chocolates????
horrormeister 12:09am Jun 28, 1998 - (437)
"Forget the Booklady. She's dead. Long live Lady Horror!"
My dear Lady Chocolate: I have a chocolate cake here. No such thing as white chocolate would ever make it into a cake of mine. I should very much like to know the secrets of thy heart. But if you should not want to tell me, then I shall keepeth this cake for myself and the pirates. Ah, I do know that they shall appreciate it. Lady Pandikat: Care to joineth me in some chocolate cake? Just you, me, and the pirates. What do you sayeth? We need not give any cake to the fair Lady Chocolate, that is unless she agrees to gossip with me about certain matters of the heart.
horrormeister 12:10am Jun 28, 1998 - (438)
"Forget the Booklady. She's dead. Long live Lady Horror!"
Lady Chocolate, I have changed my mind. Just introduce me to the Knights Templar and you shall have all the cake your heart desires.
delacroix_1 7:28am Jun 29, 1998 - (439)
"Be mysterious."
Lady Chocolate, I've heard all about your most sneaky proposal to filch mine chocolates! Be forewarned, however, these are magical chocolates that shalt turn into (yikes!) white chocolate if anybody but their true mistress (that is, yours trulieth), tryeth to eateth them! Not to mention that the moment thou openeth the box they spew a delicious 70%-cocoa-content perfume that caneth be smelt a mile away and therefore I shall be forewarned. So anybody who dareth come close to them, shall meet his or her comeuppance by my most noble sword! And Lady Pandikat, thou must stoppeth watching the televisioneth! Contrary to thy beliefs, there is a whole body of literature that makes it very clear that commerce with the Undead may be very, ahem agreeable and rewarding! And Lady Horror, a cake such as thou describeth can only be at the service of Sin and Eternal Perdition, after all, isn't it called Devil's Food? Cool new motto, by the way.